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Byran Ferrol

What does it mean to be “loyal” in a relationship?


Is being loyal not wanting to get with anyone else or resisting to get with anyone else? I don’t actually know where I stand on this but hopefully that becomes more apparent as I write this post. It’s a tough cookie to crack because can you only be attracted to one person for the rest of your life. I don’t think so, no matter how much you love your other half you’re not going to stop finding other girls attractive. Now whether this means you want to get with these people is another story. In order for us to answer the question we must first define what “not wanting to” means. Does it mean not wanting to because you’re in a relationship or not wanting to simply because you don’t want to. A lot of people believe that because you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t want to get with anyone else. And this is fair enough… when you look at it from surface level. But if you dig a little deeper, firstly no matter how deep your love or how good the sex can you really expect your other half to not have a wondering eye from the billions of other people on the planet? And on top of this you won’t even know if they’ve even thought about getting with anyone else, so as long as they’re satisfying your needs everyone’s happy right? You’re not a bad person for maybe wanting to get with other people when your in a relationship because it’s honestly impossible to have that physical attraction to just one person. As for love, that’s a completely different story but it’s because you love the person you’re with that you don’t even go there. But then you can argue “why do people cheat on the partners that they claim to love?” Well simple answer is that they don’t love them. But a more complex thought is that they may love their partner but the attraction is just too much and sometimes this does transcend “love” for some people. I mean you’re in the moment, your partner isn’t there, you’re with a really attractive boy/girl it may be hard for you to say no. However if you really do love your other half then you’ll realise that 2 minutes of pleasure probably isn’t worth it. A big reason for why people want to stay single is because they can’t comprehend the idea of committing both physically and emotionally to one person for an extended period of time. Let’s not kid ourselves it is a big deal which is why I respect not only people in relationships but people who have been in them for years. Not to say that I’m off throwing myself at a different girl every week but the idea of a relationship is still a scary prospect for me. Now I touched briefly on the idea of resisting which is pretty much what it is. This is perhaps much more common form of loyalty. And even though the idea of it seems disloyal, is it really. Not wanting to and resisting both ultimately have the same result, does the method really matter? On the flip side if you were to tell your partner that you wanted to get with this person but you “resisted” I can’t imagine they’d be too happy. Let’s not be naive to the fact that this is how most of us stay loyal. If we could we’d love to get with everyone we found attractive without any consequences but this is not how the world works. Resistance does take strength and loyalty and showing that to one person is a pretty big deal. It’s just important to know that your other half isn’t messing around with anyone else BECAUSE of you. But then again what do I know? Relationships are pretty much one big mind game and its your job to play whether you like it or not…

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