Stop Being a Whiny Little B*TCH

I had no plans to write this one; I just felt compelled.

Like with most good blog posts, this one starts with a story...

A few weeks ago, I was having dinner with a friend, and we were talking, as good friends do, and I started telling her about this "situation" I had been through. For context, the situation is done (kinda), and she's heard me talk about it numerous times before.

But not to digress, so I'm relenting my emotional trauma, and she's a pretty straight talker. She'll tell me exactly what she thinks, no sugar coating (much to her pleasure, tbh). And honestly, it's nothing I've never heard from her before. But as I am talking, something... odd happens. I hear someone else talking about a similar situation that they've been in, except they're chatting complete and utter nonsense, to the point where if it was socially acceptable, I'd slap them.

So I'm listening to this guy talk; he's emotional, of course, but more so delusional. I think what he's saying makes sense, but it becomes very apparent to me that he is clearly emotionally stunted. And the story just keeps going on and on, and of course, I'm invested. I can no longer eat the fresh, succulent Greek food sitting in front of me, as my amazement at this situation is increasing exponentially. Not only does what he is saying seem familiar, but he also sounds familiar. And as I finally go to take a bite of my mixed meat pitta, he stops talking. When, of course, I realize, and maybe you did too, that this guy is me.

I was listening to myself talk, except for perhaps the first time in my life, it didn't sound like me talking. I was saying things that I knew were crazy, things that are completely irrational, and if a friend was spouting this kind of garbage to me, I would have to shake them until their head fell off. Okay, of course, I'm talking in hyperbole. But it started to dawn on me that I had become something I never thought I would be.

When you're looking at situations from the outside, it's so easy to judge. You think people are idiots for not being able to see the obvious or completely lovesick over a person who clearly isn't into them. But that level of detachment allows you to see things a bit more clearly. When you're emotionally attached to a situation, the world looks different; you act in uncertain ways. And it's really something I haven't given enough credit to, seeing as I didn't really start feeling emotions until I was 25.

As a human, on a day-to-day basis, you operate on a plateau. But situations will arise where that peaks and troughs, and suddenly you discover new sides of yourself that you didn't even know existed. Have you ever had the urge to do something that was so out of character for you that you literally had to ask yourself what you are doing? Thinking about it now... I get that a lot. And the truth of the matter is... it's not out of character; it is who you are.

You cannot be what you are not.

And of course, there are situations that will push us to our absolute extremes, and I'm not arguing that acting out on impulse suddenly characterizes our whole personality, but there will come a time where maybe you have to accept that it is part of you—even if it is deep down.

So it was weird hearing myself say things that I knew were a bit crazy, I knew were a bit out of character, I knew were a bit delusional, but in the same breath, it was eye-opening realizing that all these things are actually who I am. This situation that I've been caught up in has shone a light on parts of me that used to be in the dark. And none of it is necessarily good or bad, but each one is important in putting the puzzle pieces together to better understand who I am.

So next time you want to accuse someone of being a whiny little bitch, remember that we never know how we're going to react to a situation until we're in it. I do believe there is a whiny little bitch in us all.